Adjustments!

First day, leaving the Gladney Foster Home.

Today at home. We are truly blessed!

As I sit down with a cup of Ethiopian coffee and I am going to do my best to articulate my thoughts on this whole adjustment thing, per your request.

Prior to our living for E we were told numerous times that Isaac does not like strangers and may take a while to adjust to all the changes. This is when we began praying more fervently that God would intervene supernaturally and knit our hearts together before we even met.

Meeting him for the first time. Well, the short of it is he cried a lot. We did not feel it was a good idea to string out our stay at the foster house because of this so we left within 20-30mins. of arriving. Sadly, due to his hard adjustments while in E we felt it was not the best idea to take him back and further confuse him, so we were not able to visit that particular house again.

The first few days. Those were very rough. He cried a lot. He was very attached to me, but would have NOTHING to do with Trevor. That actually lasted until we left. Even though he was hanging on to me for dear life every hour of every day, I still felt that for him I was just a lesser of to evils. In those days I just prayed that God would intervene and bring peace to his heart and help me to not resist bonding with this child that I felt did not want anything to do with being a part of our family. Hear me out, I knew better. He was just a confused little boy who was very scared.

The remainder of our very long trip he had his brief moments of laughing, smiling, and babbling. He was still very clingy, and only preferring one parent. This meant I fed, bathed, changed, put to bed, and held him everyday. As hard as it was we continued to tell ourselves he will get better, he will adjust, this is only for a time, it will not last forever.

Home Sweet Home. From the time we got home we have felt that he is more comfortable. That does not mean we feel he is not afraid to wake up and find that things have changed again. Sometimes he will give us this, fear of the unknown look. We have our great days, were he will spread his wings and fly and days were he fears to leave the nest. We have begun to recognize his facial expressions. He has a look of; oh no you did not just tell me NO; who are you people; joy; and scared.

Even though it has been hard we know and knew it would not be easy. Do I lose it sometimes in frustration, yes. But God is very quick to convict my heart and I ask my sweet children who are struggling as much as I am to adjust to life's changes, for forgiveness. I love them and thank God for both of them. I continue to pray God would give me wisdom, perseverance, and patience to make it through each difficult day. And he does, usually by giving me a "spread your wings and fly" day.

If you want to read two emails we sent while in Ethiopia on this subject written by my wonderful husband click here and go to the previous posts marked Adoption and Ministry and Part 2(this is our pastor's blog). Trevor has great words of wisdom, it is worth reading.